Monday, February 15, 2010
I have grown up in a wonderful world full of dinner parties, next-door cocktails, china plates, Sunday school dresses, neighborhood bike rides, white picket fences and golden retrievers. I have lived the Southern stereotypical lifestyle of knowing everyone in town and leaving doors unlocked… and I love it so dearly. I have always had a vision of my future: working in a successful marketing agency in a thriving city. Having the top-notch designer brands in clothing (something I have never had the luxury of experiencing.) My apartment being decorated to perfection and a place where clutter ceases to exist. Going out on the town at night where I would eventually meet the man of my dreams. We would date for approximately two years, get engaged, and then have the wedding of anyone’s expectations. We would then settle down into a small suburb where my small-town tendencies would fit in perfectly. Our house would be either white-washed brick or pale-yellow wood. And yes, a white picket fence would be in tact… complete with a terrier on the front steps. We would wait about a year before we had kids ( I would want the married-life experience, of course..) He would commute to work, and I would start a photography business from home once we started to have children. Our children would consist of two girls and one boy. They’d grow into successful adults and we would sit in our rocking chairs sipping tea, looking back on it all with so much pride… the perfect life.
But now I am trying to teach myself to let go of it all. Not to criticize people in my mind for not having my own fake ambitions of a “perfect” life. I am now learning to let my life fold out as I go. Not to care if I am living up to anyone’s darn expectations, but my own. Trying to learn who I am, not what I imagined I was. I am opening my mind to others’ ways of life, and looking at it with a positive frame of mind… attempting to engrain in my mind the importance of being happy. No matter what I do, who I end up with, where I am, whatever salary gets thrown my way… that is all that matters.
Ohhh I have a lot to learn and experience, and believe me, I know it.